+ Life | Monday Blues?

As usual I got a cab to work today. As usual, I have the Monday blues. Nothing major, it is just me not wanting to go to work after a weekend break.

This morning, I got a white SMRT Cab... with a pleasant driver who wished me "Good Morning, Sir" as soon as I was seated.

"Sorry Sir, please tell me your route because I just started working this morning," he said apologetically.

I said sure and told him my preferred route to my workplace. Then I got to hear someone's life story. A sad story that is... an unfortunate one.

Just as we turned into Tampines Avenue 10, he continued telling me that he had not worked for the past year and today was his first day after quiting his job of 3 years as a cab driver before, to take care of his wife. She had lung cancer.

They did not know about it until she had coughs that did not seem to go away. It lasted about a month even after going to the doctors repeatedly.

They finally went to the hospital to do full body medical checkup that detected their worst nightmare. She had lung cancer at Stage 4.

Shocking to him, ever devastating to his wife who did not have any symptom she might have suspected that anything was wrong with her.

She did have a symptom when they came to think of it, but it was too mild to suspect anything was amiss.

The driver said that his wife was always complaining of an onset of numbness with her fingers of both hands. She would complain feeling it while she chopped vegetables, or while doing house chores.

She would flick her hands a while and all was fine again. The one-off feeling she felt was more of a nuisance than anything else. It would go away after a few flicks of the hands. That was that.

The doctor confirmed that, that was one of the symptoms; who is to know... laymen like us?

When diagnosed in April 2005 with Stage 4 cancer, nothing much could be done. The driver did not say anything about chemo or any treatment she had gone through, but he quit his job to take care of his wife; to and for hospital until she succumbed to the disease and passed away on 21 December 2005.

So tomorrow is her 4th-month death anniversary," the driver seemed to remind himself, with a straight face and then a long pause... quiet, except the humming of the engine.

The driver continued saying that he had lots of money spent for her hospital bills, their daily expenses and his children... Yes he has 3 boys, age 18 still studying at a Polytechnic, 16 in Secondary 4 and 10 in Primary 4.

With a concerned tone of voice, he said that his 2 eldest sons are coping well their loss - the drastic change in family life without their mother, but the last one who was very attached to his mom, is the most affected. The most emotional of the 3.

His concern is very much focused on his youngest. The youngest son would come home from school with mom to greet him, but not anymore. He is slowly adjusting, but painfully so he noticed.

The driver cannot let him manage it alone, so he intends to stop work about 1:00pm today and everyday, to reach home before his son does, to greet him instead.

This now, single parent has to check and monitor his son's school work, and provide emotional support until his son is himself again.

Both a Mom and a Dad now, with a financial left-over to live on for the 4 of them, he had some regrets that he suddenly stopped talking about...

"Wow Sir, you work is quite a distance from your home?" And then changed subject.

Truly a sad fate and a touching story that man and his family have to go through.

Now picking-up the pieces from a devastating situation, adjustments to be made on every aspect and level of their lives - by every member of the family.

All that emotional load I was let to hear in my 15 minutes ride to work, on a Monday morning.

Yeah, yeah... I felt ashamed at myself with my "Monday blues", when this guy has to endure something so devastating and still has to carry on strong for himself, for his children. Wow!

The driver wished me "Have a good day, Sir!" as I alighted.

I just answered "Thank you, you take care." Obviously still grappling with the magnitude of the matter his family has to cope with. Life goes on.

Now, how is one to know anything is wrong without being paranoid or worse, become a hypochondriac... to know or be alert to the mildest symptom, that could mean between early stage detection and irrecoverable damage... between life and death?

Maybe, an annual physical check-up is the way to go for early detection? In the meantime, taking care of one's health, food that one consumes, healthy, happy living?

And another, I guess life insurance is very important, especially for the ones you leave behind.

Most of all, trust The Almighty to protect oneself and one's family, after all the best efforts one has consistently done daily... to me, this should be the way.